If I were a boy...

Well.. To tell the truth, I have been mistaken for a boy quite a few times because of my short hair and attire, that too by boys nonetheless! And it was funny to see their embarrassed face after they realized that I was actually a girl. 😆

It was like a wish come true at those moments because I have always wished I were a boy, and I'm pretty sure most of the girls would have had the same feeling at some point in their lives, right?

The reason I wished to be a boy is...

Being a single child and that too a girl is not easy. Your parents become "OVER"protective, so much so that you have to go to school, which is within walking distance actually, in the van where you are the only one above 13yrs old! and your neighbor who is younger than you, go to the same school on his bicycle.
You can't visit your friend as much as you want, who is only living two bus stops away from your home.
You can't go out with your friends without getting prior permission like a week before.
It's like being in an invisible cage!

I can go on and on about it, and it will never end. You get the idea, right girls?

I don't know if the boys will understand this because as far as I have seen, these things are easy for them. They can hang out wherever they want, whenever they prefer and with whomever they like, while we have to provide them with the entire itinerary with all the details starting from who all will be there with you, the  start and destination, mode of transportation, and the time well.. you have to return by 6 at the least. Also, you can't go to another hangout for another month after that.

And then there is this other reason...

If I were a boy and I see a girl on Valentine's day, who is sitting silently in the classroom while her friends are offered flowers by other boys, I would go over to her and offer mine..

If I were a boy and I see a girl in a party, who looks lonely and rejected, I would go over to her and make some conversation and give her company.

If I were a boy and I see a girl like me, who feels lonely and self-conscious but is actually smart and full of surprises (I'd like to think I am..!), just waiting for that someone, to be loved and understood... I'd not think twice before being that someone for her.

But I'm not a boy..
So.. Any boys out there interested in being that someone?
😉

That feeling..

That feeling you get when you say "Thank you" to a person for doing something, which may be actually their job to do, and the person gets genuinely surprised and rewards us with a smile..

That feeling you get when someone says "Thank you" to you, from the bottom of their heart (according to me, there's a difference in this you know..), just for encouraging them and wishing them well..

That feeling you get when someone says you are beautiful(!) instead of the "cute" compliment you always get..

That feeling you get when someones really enjoys the gift you gave them, even if it's a hand-made one and not so perfect..

And that feeling you get when that someone keeps your gift safe and sound and close to their heart..


That feeling explained...

I had just completed my JEE MAIN online exam, which is a big deal here and one of the "prestigious and future determining" exam and was glad to get finally over with it. And finally she came to me, checked if everything was okay with the system and me, and said I can leave now. I was exhausted from sitting in the same spot for 3 hrs and guessing all the answers, so I was happy that I could finally go.
I said a "Thank you" and turned to leave, when I noticed she was kinda staring at me, as if I said something unusual. Slowly a smile came up on her lips and she welcomed me. It was her surprised look that surprised me and I felt like a warm glow inside me. Really! I got this warm feeling in me that I did something good for someone, in this case making her just smile..
I guess people often forget to acknowledge the things others do for them, just because it was their duty. You would be surprised what a simple "Thank you" can do to others!

The next time I got that feeling was when I wished my friend, who was worrying he would never get the call from the company, and then they called him within a few weeks. I wished him well, and that cheered him a lot, as I myself was waiting for a call from the company I got recruited. He seemed so happy that I forgot about my worry's!

The one and only time someone told me I was beautiful.. was when my braces got removed. My friend, he just looked at me for a while, and came close and said, "You are really beautiful AJ..". And I got overwhelmed and just stood there smiling stupidly.

And finally that feeling you get when you know that someone is happy because of you, because of the gift you made for them, because of that compliment you gave them, because of that stupid joke that made them laugh so hard....

That feeling...
It's priceless..
It's really something else..

What's in a name, anyway?

Everything...

I have been thinking of starting a blog for ages so that I could pour out my crazy thoughts and I could finally get the feeling that someone is listening to me. Well, I hope that someone reads it. 😅

But then came the task of finding the right name.. And boy! It wasn't an easy task.

I wanted it to be creative, something that defines me and at the same time captures one's eyes. Something like 'Blank pages of my notebook' which is my (taking the liberty to call him..) friends' blog. And I secretly envy him that he got such a cool name. Not that mine's bad. I will come to that later.

So I started to search for names. I googled and that's when I realized that my problem is not a rare one. I was surprised to see so many links that help us to choose a name for a blog! I took their advice and began.. I thought and thought and I thought.. and finally came up with some.

• Wandering thoughts

            Because my thoughts are just wandering in my head..

• Unleashed thoughts

             You know.. because I'm going to unleash my thoughts here..

• Just wondering..

            After all, these are just my wonderings.. (I thought wonderings was a word, but it seems not as
 my editor has put a red line underneath it😐)   

• Why not?

           Not just why but what, why, where were also behind that because I come across many  questions in my mind.

And if you are a Game Of Thrones fan, then you can probably relate to the next two.

• A girl is thinking..
• A girl has thoughts

I know.. It's pathetic, right? And guess what? There are blogs actually existing in those names, well except the GOT ones😛.

Then I thought about 'Train of thoughts' but it just felt like a name of some game to me. So that was crossed. I took opinion from two of my friends and one said all were good while the other wasn't satisfied with any. I was so desperate to find a name that I couldn't even fall in sleep peacefully, like I was going crazy! (*pop*) And that's when I came with the name on top of the page when I was trying to get some sleep.

I feel like I was supposed to go for some, you know.. a socially acceptable name for a 22yr old's blog, but I'm kinda stuck with it and who knows, maybe someone will think that I'm actually crazy after reading all this and that itself will justify the name😁. Besides, it's not for my profession and I don't give a damn to what others think about it.

Ehmm.. Maybe I do.. Anyways the harm is already done and I can only lick my wounds now.. And I have read somewhere that our saliva contains some compounds which are actually good for cuts so I'm pretty sure my wounds will heal fast.